In “Awareness” Anthony DeMello explores the profound practice of self-discovery and inner awakening. With an insightful and captivating writing style, DeMello presents a collection of spiritual insights and teachings that challenge our perceptions and beliefs about reality. Through thought-provoking anecdotes, parables, and exercises, DeMello guides readers on a transformative journey towards a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. An influential Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, and renowned spiritual teacher, Anthony DeMello dedicated his life to exploring the intricacies of human consciousness and the limitless potential for personal growth. His unique blend of Eastern philosophy and Western psychology continues to inspire individuals on their quest for self-realization and spiritual enlightenment.
Chapter 1: Awakening to Reality
DeMello emphasizes the importance of becoming aware of our illusions and conditioning that prevent us from experiencing life fully and authentically.
The chapter begins with DeMello sharing a parable about the Buddha and an angry, insulting man. The Buddha refuses to be affected by the man’s insults, explaining that he does not choose to accept them. This story sets the tone for the chapter, highlighting the idea that our awareness and perspective shape our experiences.
DeMello encourages the reader to question their existing beliefs, assumptions, and attachments, suggesting that many of them are merely illusions. He explains that true awakening comes from distancing oneself from these attachments and cultivating the ability to live in the present moment without judgment or analysis.
The chapter also explores the idea of seeing reality as it is, rather than how we perceive it to be. DeMello asserts that our perceptions are filtered through our conditioning, preventing us from truly experiencing the world around us. He encourages the reader to challenge their beliefs and question the stories they tell themselves, urging them to let go of preconceived notions and embrace the unknown.
DeMello concludes the chapter by reminding the reader that true awareness is not something that can be learned or taught but is rather an individual journey of discovering one’s own illusions and finding liberation from them. He emphasizes that awareness is not about accumulating knowledge or techniques but about letting go and surrendering to what is. This opening chapter of Awareness invites the reader to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, challenging the reader to awaken to the true nature of reality.
Chapter 2: The Illusion of Control
DeMello argues that this illusion of control blinds individuals from the true nature of existence and leads to unnecessary suffering and unhappiness.
The chapter begins by highlighting how people frequently attribute their successes and failures to their own efforts and decisions, rather than acknowledging the role of luck, chance, and external factors. DeMello asserts that this tendency stems from a deep-seated need for security and a fear of the unknown. Individuals cling to the illusion of control because it provides a sense of order and predictability.
However, DeMello shows that this illusion is shattered when unexpected events or external factors disrupt their plans or desires. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing that control over outcomes is largely a fiction, as life is filled with countless variables that are beyond human influence.
Furthermore, DeMello argues that the illusion of control leads to attachment and suffering. People become attached to the outcomes they desire and are devastated when those outcomes are not realized or are taken away. By accepting that control is illusory, individuals can detach from their desires and find freedom from unnecessary suffering.
DeMello offers the example of a leaf falling from a tree to illustrate how life operates outside of individual control. The leaf does not resist its fall or attempt to control its path; it simply surrenders to the wind and embraces its natural course. Similarly, DeMello suggests that humans should let go of their illusion of control and flow with the unpredictable nature of life.
Chapter 3: Breaking Free from Conditioning
The author highlights the ways in which our thoughts, emotions, and actions are often guided by conditioning, which influences how we perceive the world and navigate through it.
DeMello argues that conditioning is a form of sleep, as it prevents us from seeing reality as it truly is. Our beliefs, opinions, and attitudes are shaped by societal norms, cultural values, and personal experiences, leading us to operate on autopilot rather than engaging in conscious awareness. He asserts that to lead a joyful and liberated life, we must break free from these unconscious patterns and discover our true selves.
The author provides various examples to illustrate how conditioning affects our perception. He mentions how easily we can be swayed by external influences, such as advertisements, peer pressure, and the need for approval, which often result in conformity and a loss of individuality. Furthermore, he discusses the dangers of attaching our identity to external factors, such as material possessions or relationships, as it limits our freedom and happiness.
DeMello suggests that the first step towards breaking free from conditioning is to become aware of our thoughts and emotions. By observing our inner dialogue and recognizing the influence of conditioning, we can begin to question our beliefs and challenge societal norms. He emphasizes the importance of self-inquiry and introspection as tools for awakening and gaining clarity about our authentic selves.
In conclusion, Chapter 3 highlights the pervasive nature of conditioning and its hindrance to genuine self-awareness. DeMello encourages readers to step out of societal molds and engage in active questioning and reflection to discover their true identity beyond conditioning. By doing so, he suggests that individuals can experience a more fulfilling and liberated existence.
Chapter 4: Embracing the Power of Now
DeMello begins by acknowledging that most individuals are unconsciously trapped in their thoughts, dwelling on past events or worrying about the uncertainties of the future. He asserts that this mental preoccupation prevents people from experiencing the richness and beauty of the present moment. According to DeMello, true happiness and liberation can only be achieved by fully living in the present.
The author further explains that becoming aware of the present moment requires letting go of attachments and expectations. He suggests that individuals should practice detaching from their desires and fears, allowing themselves to be fully immersed in what is happening here and now. By doing so, one can develop a deep sense of inner peace and contentment.
DeMello emphasizes the importance of awareness in all aspects of life, including simple everyday activities. He encourages readers to pay attention to the small details, such as the warmth of sunlight, the taste of their food, or the sound of laughter. This heightened awareness allows individuals to fully appreciate and experience life’s simple pleasures.
Chapter 5: Letting Go of Attachments
DeMello begins by stating that attachments are the root cause of our suffering and that true liberation lies in letting go of these attachments.
He explains that attachments can be to material possessions, relationships, beliefs, or even our own self-image. These attachments create expectations and dependencies that ultimately lead to disappointment and frustration when these expectations are not met. DeMello emphasizes that true happiness can only be found by detaching from these attachments and finding freedom from the desires and expectations that come with them.
To let go of attachments, DeMello encourages the practice of self-awareness and mindfulness. By becoming aware of our attachments, we can examine them and question their validity. He argues that attachments are often based on false beliefs or societal conditioning and that realizing this can help us break free from their hold on us.
Furthermore, DeMello highlights the importance of embracing change and impermanence. He asserts that our attachments often stem from a fear of loss or change, but by recognizing the transient nature of everything, we can develop a sense of non-attachment. This means being able to let go and move forward without clinging to people, possessions, or situations.
In conclusion, DeMello emphasizes that letting go of attachments is not an easy process, but it is necessary for true happiness and freedom. By practicing self-awareness, questioning our attachments, and embracing impermanence, we can find a sense of liberation from the desires and expectations that limit us. Ultimately, the key to letting go of attachments is realizing that our true nature is beyond these attachments and finding joy in the present moment rather than relying on external factors for happiness.
Chapter 6: The Path of Self-Discovery
DeMello emphasizes that self-discovery is not about acquiring anything new but rather about finding and understanding our true nature, which is obscured by conditioned beliefs and attachments.
The chapter begins by highlighting the prevalent misconception that self-discovery necessitates changing or improving oneself. However, DeMello argues that true self-discovery lies in unlearning and letting go of societal expectations and the roles we have assumed. He emphasizes that we are not the roles we play, the thoughts we think, or the beliefs we hold. Instead, our true nature is a state of awareness, a witnessing of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.
DeMello outlines several obstacles that hinder the path of self-discovery. One of these obstacles is the constant chatter of the mind, which distracts us from being present in the moment. Another obstacle is attachment to unhealthy emotions, such as anger or resentment, which prevent us from experiencing true freedom and peace. DeMello advises us to observe these attachments without judgment and to question their validity in order to transcend them.
Furthermore, the chapter explores the illusion of control and how our desire for security and predictability prevents us from living authentically. DeMello suggests surrendering to the uncertainty of life and being open to the ever-changing nature of reality. Through this surrender, we can rediscover the peace and joy that arise from living in the present moment.
In essence, Chapter 6 explains that self-discovery is not a journey of acquiring new knowledge or changing who we are. It is about letting go of the false beliefs and attachments that cloud our true nature. By observing and questioning our thoughts, emotions, and attachments, we can uncover the peace and freedom that lie within us. This process ultimately leads to an authentic and fulfilling life.
Chapter 7: Cultivating Mindfulness and Presence
DeMello emphasizes that being present in the present moment is vital for true awareness. He explains that most of us are constantly living in the past or the future, allowing our minds to be consumed by regrets, worries, and anxieties. By doing so, we miss out on fully experiencing life as it unfolds before us. To counter this, DeMello suggests practicing mindfulness, which involves observing our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment.
The author introduces a concept called the “inner observer,” which refers to the part of us that can detach and observe our thoughts objectively. By cultivating this quality, we can gain insight into our automatic reactions and patterns, enabling us to make conscious choices and respond more effectively to life’s challenges.
DeMello also emphasizes the importance of being fully present in our relationships. He warns against being consumed by the ego’s need for control and approval, which hinders genuine connection. Instead, he encourages us to embrace vulnerability and openness, allowing us to form authentic bonds with others.
Furthermore, DeMello emphasizes the role of meditation in cultivating mindfulness and presence. He suggests setting aside time each day to sit in silence and observe the mind’s constant chatter. Through regular meditation practice, he argues, we can train our minds to be more focused and present in all aspects of life. DeMello provides practical advice on how to cultivate these qualities through observation, detachment, vulnerability, and meditation. By incorporating these practices into our lives, we can live more fully in the present moment and cultivate a deeper sense of awareness.
Chapter 8: Living with Open Awareness
The chapter begins by emphasizing the importance of being fully present in the moment. DeMello argues that many people go through life on autopilot, being driven by their conditioned thoughts and beliefs. Instead, he proposes that individuals should cultivate a state of awareness where they are fully engaged with their surroundings, unclouded by mental chatter and judgment.
DeMello suggests that true awareness requires a willingness to embrace uncertainty and let go of the need for control. This means acknowledging that life is constantly changing and unpredictable. By surrendering our resistance to change, we can find a deeper sense of peace and contentment.
Furthermore, DeMello discusses the limitations of language and how it often fails to capture the complexity of life. He suggests that we should not be overly attached to words and labels, as they can restrict our understanding and prevent us from fully experiencing the richness of the present moment.
Throughout the chapter, DeMello provides various practical techniques to cultivate open awareness, such as observing thoughts without becoming attached to them, questioning our assumptions, and learning to appreciate silence. He promotes a sense of curiosity and wonder, encouraging readers to approach life with an open mind and a willingness to explore new perspectives.
After Reading
In conclusion, Awareness by Anthony DeMello is a thought-provoking and insightful book that encourages readers to awaken to the reality of their true selves and the world around them. DeMello encourages readers to question their beliefs and attachments, prompting them to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Through his stories and teaching, he reminds us of the power of awareness and the liberation it can bring. By letting go of our illusions and embracing the present moment, we can attain true freedom, peace, and fulfillment. Awareness serves as a guidebook for those seeking inner awakening and a deeper understanding of themselves and the world they inhabit.
1. The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle: This transformative book delves deep into the concept of living in the present moment, teaching readers how to let go of past regrets and future anxieties. Tolle’s teachings align well with the themes of self-awareness and personal growth explored in “Awareness,” making it an excellent follow-up read.
2. Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl: Drawing from his experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp survivor, Frankl explores the importance of finding meaning in life, even amidst extreme suffering. This book resonates with the themes of introspection and self-discovery, prompting readers to contemplate their own purpose and values.
3. The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg: Duhigg examines the science behind habit formation and explains how we can harness this knowledge to bring about positive change in our lives. Similar to “Awareness,” this book encourages readers to examine their automatic behaviors and empowers them to break free from destructive patterns.
4. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert B. Cialdini: This insightful book explores the principles of influence and persuasion, shedding light on the tactics employed by marketers, salespeople, and others to sway our decisions. By understanding how we can be easily influenced, readers can become more self-aware of their own vulnerabilities and make more informed choices.
5. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson: Manson challenges conventional wisdom about happiness and success, urging readers to find meaning in life by embracing discomfort, uncertainty, and the limits of their control. This book resonates with “Awareness” as it encourages readers to let go of unnecessary attachments and focus on what truly matters in their lives.